Marie Kondo: Only keep what’s sparks joy

Me: pic.twitter.com/aRgtQK33HO

— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) January 15, 2019

I find old cables in my house that I know I should throw out but then I'm like 'nah I better keep that just incase someone comes round with a nokia n95 and needs to connect it to a fax machine'.

— Matt Okine (@mattokine) January 6, 2019

I've watched the first episode of the Marie Kondo show — the one where the guy angrily demands that his part-time working wife, who raises their two toddlers alone, do more laundry — and clearly, KonMari doesn't work, because by the end of the episode he's still there

— Sady Doyle (@sadydoyle) January 2, 2019

The year is 2035. Marie Kondo holds up the condemned man to the crowd. “Does this man spark joy?” The crowd jeers, “No he does not!” She nods silently and throws him into the pit.

— ☭ sicko modus ponens ☭ (@babadookspinoza) January 13, 2019

shoutout to the original Marie Kondo pic.twitter.com/GvYWwaVVF5

— Meg Watson (@msmegwatson) January 15, 2019

Did you know there’s an anti-Marie Kondo, who constantly sends you stuff despite you having no place to store it? Did you know it’s my mom?

— the chonky tonk man (@ICELEVEL) January 7, 2019

*Watching Tidying Up*
Marie Kondo: "The 1st step is to put all your clothes in a pile."
My kids: "We're way ahead of you."

— EdFox, Secret Chimp (@edfoxcomedy) January 21, 2019

#KonMari ends one of two ways for me.
1. Surrounded by everything I own, fervently clutching at the piles, hissing like Gollum.
2. Staring dead eyed in the cavern of an empty, stripped down house, monotoning "there is no joy, only the void."

— Thursday Addams (@care_e_bro_dee) January 10, 2019

My drawers when they saw me watching Tidying Up with Marie Kondo pic.twitter.com/d6bolQHxC9

— rjhours (@rjhours) January 6, 2019

marie kondo: throw it away if it doesn’t spark joy
me: pic.twitter.com/0r1THXsgtm

— meme (@e_minlee) January 16, 2019

Marie Kondo's home pic.twitter.com/PCX7efA42C

— Claude Zeins (@czeins) January 3, 2019

Marie Kondo: It's time to de-clutter your life. What are those?

Me: Old books.

Marie Kondo: Get rid of them. What's that?

Me: My son.

Marie Kondo: Put it in the trash. And this mess?

Me: You're pointing at me.

Marie Kondo: Gotta go.

— Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) January 4, 2019

Start of cleaning: I am a calm minimalist earth goddess

10 minutes later: Marie Kondo can suck my left titty I love my numerous towers of dusty junk that have given me depression

— Deirdre (@figgled) January 8, 2019

how to tidy up your friendships with the Marie Kondo method:

1. hold your friend up
2. check if your friend sparks joy
3. if no, thank your friend and put them in the trash

— YEOLO (@tzehern_) January 7, 2019

Saying “shit’s cancelled” is so 2018 In 2019, we saying “this shit don’t spark joy for me” #KonMari

— princess dian (@thatlinguistic) January 16, 2019

After watching one episode of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix: pic.twitter.com/Gp1g8EAgXl

— Faizal Rosly (@ijaicool) January 6, 2019

Marie Kondo but for twitter: mute all the accounts you follow that don’t spark joy

— Arvin Ahmadi (@arvinahmadi) January 15, 2019

I wonder how many people broke up after watching Tidying Up on Netflix. Like did y’all look at your partner and say, you don’t spark joy. Thank you for your service. #TidyingUp #tidyingupwithmariekondo

— Sara Polton (@sarapolton) January 16, 2019

Is this what Marie Kondo meant by only keeping books that "spark joy"? pic.twitter.com/XuSYtvbJz5

— Jamie Ford (@JamieFord) January 14, 2019

Marie Kondo: Only keep what’s sparks joy

Me: pic.twitter.com/aRgtQK33HO

— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) January 15, 2019

I find old cables in my house that I know I should throw out but then I'm like 'nah I better keep that just incase someone comes round with a nokia n95 and needs to connect it to a fax machine'.

— Matt Okine (@mattokine) January 6, 2019

I've watched the first episode of the Marie Kondo show — the one where the guy angrily demands that his part-time working wife, who raises their two toddlers alone, do more laundry — and clearly, KonMari doesn't work, because by the end of the episode he's still there

— Sady Doyle (@sadydoyle) January 2, 2019

The year is 2035. Marie Kondo holds up the condemned man to the crowd. “Does this man spark joy?” The crowd jeers, “No he does not!” She nods silently and throws him into the pit.

— ☭ sicko modus ponens ☭ (@babadookspinoza) January 13, 2019

shoutout to the original Marie Kondo pic.twitter.com/GvYWwaVVF5

— Meg Watson (@msmegwatson) January 15, 2019

Did you know there’s an anti-Marie Kondo, who constantly sends you stuff despite you having no place to store it? Did you know it’s my mom?

— the chonky tonk man (@ICELEVEL) January 7, 2019

*Watching Tidying Up*
Marie Kondo: "The 1st step is to put all your clothes in a pile."
My kids: "We're way ahead of you."

— EdFox, Secret Chimp (@edfoxcomedy) January 21, 2019

#KonMari ends one of two ways for me.
1. Surrounded by everything I own, fervently clutching at the piles, hissing like Gollum.
2. Staring dead eyed in the cavern of an empty, stripped down house, monotoning "there is no joy, only the void."

— Thursday Addams (@care_e_bro_dee) January 10, 2019

My drawers when they saw me watching Tidying Up with Marie Kondo pic.twitter.com/d6bolQHxC9

— rjhours (@rjhours) January 6, 2019

marie kondo: throw it away if it doesn’t spark joy
me: pic.twitter.com/0r1THXsgtm

— meme (@e_minlee) January 16, 2019

Marie Kondo's home pic.twitter.com/PCX7efA42C

— Claude Zeins (@czeins) January 3, 2019

Marie Kondo: It's time to de-clutter your life. What are those?

Me: Old books.

Marie Kondo: Get rid of them. What's that?

Me: My son.

Marie Kondo: Put it in the trash. And this mess?

Me: You're pointing at me.

Marie Kondo: Gotta go.

— Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) January 4, 2019

Start of cleaning: I am a calm minimalist earth goddess

10 minutes later: Marie Kondo can suck my left titty I love my numerous towers of dusty junk that have given me depression

— Deirdre (@figgled) January 8, 2019

how to tidy up your friendships with the Marie Kondo method:

1. hold your friend up
2. check if your friend sparks joy
3. if no, thank your friend and put them in the trash

— YEOLO (@tzehern_) January 7, 2019

Saying “shit’s cancelled” is so 2018 In 2019, we saying “this shit don’t spark joy for me” #KonMari

— princess dian (@thatlinguistic) January 16, 2019

After watching one episode of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix: pic.twitter.com/Gp1g8EAgXl

— Faizal Rosly (@ijaicool) January 6, 2019

Marie Kondo but for twitter: mute all the accounts you follow that don’t spark joy

— Arvin Ahmadi (@arvinahmadi) January 15, 2019

I wonder how many people broke up after watching Tidying Up on Netflix. Like did y’all look at your partner and say, you don’t spark joy. Thank you for your service. #TidyingUp #tidyingupwithmariekondo

— Sara Polton (@sarapolton) January 16, 2019

Is this what Marie Kondo meant by only keeping books that "spark joy"? pic.twitter.com/XuSYtvbJz5

— Jamie Ford (@JamieFord) January 14, 2019