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These Tweets Show What Possibly Happened When God Was Creating the Earth

Jovana A — Thu, 14 Feb 2019 14:10:16 +0000

Over the course of history, billions of people have wondered how exactly did we end up here on Earth as a species. Many religions have been trying to answer this question in a serious way, but sometimes we just need to take a break and look at things from a different perspective.

Humor is always a great way to deal with serious issues and these Twitter users have proven to be extremely talented at telling stories of how God created different species and things in a short format.

Scroll down to see the best jokes on this topics we found on Twitter!

Corgi: why are my legs so short?

God: that’s just what legs look like.

Corgi: oh cool.

[giraffe walks by]

Corgi:

God: you weren’t supposed to see that.
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) February 4, 2019

[God creating spiders]
"Make it have 8 legs"
Seems excessive but ok
"And 8 eyes"
You need to calm down a li-
"Give it a butt rope"
— regular matt (@matt___nelson) June 18, 2016

[God creating the ocean]
GOD: Just put water friggin everywhere.
ANGEL: Nice, that way if they’re thirsty, they—
GOD: Make it undrinkable.
— flaubert flav (@themiltron) June 8, 2015

[god creating mushrooms]

god: some go on pizzas
angel: ooo tasty
god: some make you trip balls
angel: um
god: and some just fucking kill you
angel: you ok buddy?
— Skoog (@Skoogeth) July 23, 2018

GOD: 8
ANGEL: 9!
GOD: We shouldn't do this drunk
ANGEL: 10 lol
GOD: 15!!
ANGEL *mouthful of pizza* 25
GOD: 30!!
CENTIPEDE: *tearing up* stop giving me legs, I look stupid
GOD: ONE HUNDRED LOL
ANGEL: LMAO
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) June 4, 2018

God: what are they doing down there?
Angel: they are making milk from almonds
God: what?! I gave them, like, 8 animals to get milk from
A: they dont like that milk
God: [mockingly] tHey DonT LiKe THat miLk *flips a table*
— The Dad (@thedad) August 20, 2018

God: you can breathe underwater!

Fish: nice.

God: also eat and drink underwater.

Fish: so where do I go to the bathroom?

God:

Fish: just on the land or something?
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) January 13, 2019

God: you can repeat everything you hear.

Parrot: humans are the worst and I’m probably gonna kill them in a flood soon.

God:

Parrot:

God: what’s it gonna take to keep this quiet?

Parrot: I wanna live in a Tropical Paradise.
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) November 21, 2018

GOD: my latest creation will have the body of an ape, the voice box of a parrot, the skin of a pig, and the intelligence of a dolphin. I call it Human, and it will destroy everything else I've made

ANGELS: [confused applause]
— wwwdmmmffnn (@woodmuffin) January 27, 2019

[god creating bees]
Put a needle on its butt.
“Come on God, wha—“
Make its puke delicious.
“WTF.”
— flaubert flav (@themiltron) April 8, 2015

Swordfish: my nose looks ridiculous.

God: at least you have a cool name.

Swordfish: so?

God: I could have made you look ridiculous AND have a dumb name.

Swordfish: but why would you do that to someone?

Hammerhead Shark: yes God why would you do that to someone?
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) January 16, 2019

GOD: there, my first animal
SNAKE:youre not done right? How am I supposed to move?
G:like this*shimmies*
S:
G:just kinda*shimmies*
S:dude
— tater tot bros (@thetits) February 8, 2016

[God making coconuts]

ANGEL: Hair on the outside?

GOD: Yes

ANGEL: Milk on the inside?

GOD: Yes

ANGEL: So, this is another mammal?

GOD: [taking bong rip] lmao, no
— Roxi Horror (@roxiqt) February 3, 2019

[god creating seahorses]

angel: any more ideas for animals?

god: ok, what if tiny saxophones could swim
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) May 20, 2018

God: you’re gonna be beautiful your whole life.

Butterfly: yeah I better be.

God: [to Angel] I don’t like his attitude make him an ugly hairy worm for half his life.
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) December 21, 2018

Octopus: I’m just saying eight legs is too many legs, I look ridiculous.

God: oh. ok. hey snake?

Snake: what’s up?

God: octopus, tell snake what you told me.

Octopus:
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) July 28, 2018

*Creating bees*

God: Make then highly beneficial to the ecosystem

Angel: Sure thing, boss

God: Give them the greatest knees of all time
— Krispy Memes Boi (@memes_krispy) February 5, 2019

God: you get to sleep like 20 hours a day.

Sloth: but that’s way too much sleep.

God:

Sloth:

God:

Sloth: yeah no I heard it when I said it.
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) February 2, 2019

[God creating cat]
God: make it furry, sees at night, makes cute sound when it’s happy
Angel: sounds like a good pet.
God: and shits in a box]
Angel: little odd, but cleanliness is next to Go…
God: and hates things on counters. #original
— Troy Fatout (@teeroy99) February 5, 2019

*creation of the kangaroo*

God: Okay so the deer was a big hit let’s work off that
Angel 1: What if it could carry it’s offspring with it for protection
God: Okay that’s kind of weak Sharon but we’ll add it
Angel 2: What if it could kick the shit out of you
God: There it is
— Gina (@ginadivittorio) January 25, 2018

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